Written by a friend close to our brand who does actually suffer and wants to raise awareness....this is the reasoning behind the art on the labels for the wax melts too all designed by Frazer
Please be aware this is very real and detailed and may upset some readers, this is for educational purposes and awareness and does contain some info on suicide and harming ones self and more
WHAT IS PSYCHOSIS
Psychosis is experiencing visual, audible, smells, touches and tastes of things that are not present for other people. The majority of the time my hallucinations are audible and visual but this is by no means restricted to these senses. I hear and see 3 different individuals (Joeseph, Daemonic and The Lady).
THE VOICES
JOESEPH
Joeseph is a goblin like creature that hates me and loves other people. As a result of Joeseph I was a serial self-harmer and attempted suicide on several occasions. He would tell me that I needed to drain my blood to appease other people. Black mail was frequent, if I wanted any form of happiness I needed to suffer.
I have been to hospital on countless occasions deep cuts to my arms requiring gluing, stitches, staples and disinfection where I would rub insects into wounds to try and cause infections. I had to have a couple of operations after I had inflicted my hand with 3rd degree burns.
Throughout all psychotic episodes Joeseph would taunt, laugh and encourage all behaviours that would lead to harming me. People would assume I was seeking attention and ungrateful, it was completely wrong what people thought of me. Experiencing episodes from Joeseph were triggered by stress and sleep deprivation.
I knew at the time I was suffering with depression and told my mum; she took me to the doctors and at 13 years of age I was
diagnosed with Psychotic Depression.
DAEMONIC
The 2nd voice I experience is called Daemonic who's name is shortened to "D". D is exceptionally tall, broad and has a deep voice that growls like a hundred Rottweilers. D's face is covered by a mask and has no expression but his personality is full of rage. D hates everyone but loves me, he hates the dishonourable to a point that we share a code called "VALACUL" which means Death before Dishonour. D first came along after I had a break up from a nasty relationship that I was abused physically, mentally and sexually.
The first hallucination from Daemonic was one that was perplexing, I was sat on my bed crying and Joeseph was telling me to kill myself as i was only going to cause stress to others with the stories, and that my family would be better off without me. My family had been trying to help me for so long but in that moment D was there and with such anger to protect me I felt strong for the first time. I cried and cried as D sat beside me and he was holding me together, but his motives became apparent as he started to say how I am always betrayed by family and friends. I found myself hating everyone as he encouraged it, apparently my family were trying to poison me and i needed to get away from them. I was trying to step away from family but i knew i couldn't as they were there for me before.
D will heighten frustration into anger and rage so I have had to learn to live with him and try to calm him down during his rages.
When I tell people about D people feel scared that I hear and see something that hates everyone bar myself. I can understand why people would feel fear of him, though not once has D caused me to lash out any people, I would punch and headbutt objects though as that would help divert and release anger.
The one big thing with D, I love him like a best friend. His sense of humour as dark as it is I love; his code of honour means I can avoid untrustworthy people but I will check with other trustworthy people if D and I's code is being broken; If honour isn't broken then i have nothing to worry about. If it is dishonourable then I can take the right course of action and keep myself protected. I always hear D and I couldn't be without him, we laugh at things all the time and he does warm to people that have constantly demonstrated clear honour.
THE LADY
The 3rd and the last individual I experience I refer to as The Lady. I detest her, she is nothing but hatred of everything. I can hear and see her but I cannot communicate with her at all. She wants death and pain and nothing else. The Lady is an old person that is dressed as Victorian style maids dress and has a cold and harsh look.
The episodes from The Lady are evil, I hear and see her constant screaming in my face and feel like I am being strangled. The psychotic episodes with The Lady are debilitating, rooms melts around me, creatures run around, fire all consuming I experience the darkest fear of my kind, death is a better option. I think the best way of describing the lady is like a vile trip on acid or shrooms. The trigger for The Lady is severe stress, only my wife can stop them properly without the use of strong medication.
I want others to be aware that the vast majority of people with psychosis are not bad, nasty or dangerous. TV, media and movies have created a horrific Stereotype on what are genuinely kind and loving individuals.
The things that have benefitted me in my life are loving people that do not judge and do not allow TV, movies or the media taint their interpretation. I'm lucky to have a very loving and caring wife, a family and my closest friends.
If you need help approached your doctor and ask for help, charities such as Mind and Samaritans are fantastic and I can't thank them for their help or just to lend me their ear and time.
written by Frazer
not full name for privacy purposes